I was done with my beginning class in sewing. I could measure, gather, sew straight lines, hem, and read a pattern. I went to the fabric store, a piece of fabric said, " I love you" I went to the pattern book and found a pattern and calculated what I needed from the information on the back of the pattern.
I went home and made my first dress. She was a beauty, bunches of lilacs all over, little puffy cap sleeves, and pleats across the chest. My 3 sisters liked my dress too, they wore it too, and in less than a month, it came out of the dryer, exploded in a mess of narly thread - dead.
I was flumoxed. I hardly wore it. It was nice that everyone liked it, but I couldn't make another one, at least not like that one. It was normal to take each others clothes, especially if our classes didn't overlap, we would not get found out. Sneaking was the game. It seemed more cool to be wearing my sisters clothes then mine. I thought also I needed to stop, first, if I wanted other's to stop taking from me. It took a while for me to realize I was enough, my creativity was enough and I did not need to sneak my sisters clothes.
It was hard to not let them borrow my creations though. I could not reconcile this feeling, like I was selfish, for not sharing....and gee I got some positive attention for them liking my creations, and I could see what the dress looked like out in the world, as it transformed each person who wore it. That was interesting to me.
Is it ok to make something for oneself and not share it? Or is it shared in the action itself? Is having our own creative energy for ourselves enough? What is sustainable?
What if my creativity really needs a bigger container then what others can have, where is my responsibility? oh people pleasing can leak in. Creativity is of the limitless, it is not limited, not containable, yet needs to be cared for and shared. Back then "boundaries" was not in the consciousness so much.
What are your thoughts?
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