"Deep within the heart of every soul lives the boundless and eternal love of the Divine. In the world, the only way we can manifest this Divine unfettered love is through our sharing" Michael Tamura
As we head more in the summer, the cancer energy of sensitivity is more pronounced. How do we use this in an empowering way vs separating?
As iI plan to get together with family later in the summer, first I went into people pleasing mode, then my inner dragons started making lumps under the carpet. I voiced them, the what ifs, then when that was ok, they were heard, I wondered "what do I want to create - really? do I want to be living from past filters, the trauma and drama or create something new and extraordinary? What feels better?
I feel like the game is to include both and then, see that I am bigger than the fears, then I can step out and see with new eyes, new open mindedness.
I also ask spirit to help here, I am willing.
What is your experience?
"Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person is the silence in us, not the sort of silence that is filled with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal. The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest, of acceptance of someone as they are. We are all hungry for this other silence. It is hard to find. In its presence we can remember something beyond the moment, a strength on which to build a life. Silence is a place of great power and healing ."
- Rachel Naomi Remen
In my experience, people can be uncomfortable with this silence. I say I am just listening, There is so much to listen to, in the silence.
Do you ever listen to the grass, the trees...a flower.
listening is appreciating
On my walk this morning I met an Iris, deep violet blue. glowing in the shade. The outer petals open, the fuzzy stuff like caterpillar backs...the inner closed with a few drops of water glistening, holding on the sides of the closed petals quietly, perhaps pausing on their journey through the atmosphere, til their next shape not yet formed.
Gee that would make a great picture for my blog I muse as I walk home, darn... my camera broke and I am experimenting with a mini tablet. I have not made friends with it exactly. I am not swallowing all the buzz about the technology. Do I really need it? It is very seductive, my fingers like to fondle the icons, instant response...oh the places I could go... I spend time researching, comparing, evaluating. Myabe the one I got is ok.
I go back to the iris.
I wield this plate like thing, I think this could be easy for me to drop on the asphalt. Hum. I am not very good with change, is this the change I need to be making?
The iris is still closed, but the drops of water have gone, leaving little dusty marks on the petals.
I go home and take a nap.
How about you? How is change moving through you? Or are you moving through change?
We are just entering the sign of Gemini - communication - conversations that can bring you into deeper communion with yourself, other. How to do this is a way that is of discovery, of what is not known yet? Questions are the knock on the door, tap tap tapping into a new improvisation, playful possibilities to expand, awaken new nerve endings tickling.
For me, one of the blind spots in growing up in a dysfunctional environment, is I did not know it was ok not to know and ok to ask how to do something I did not know how to do. Identifying that thing I did not know how to do can be embarrassingly shameful- oh the judgement and invalidation, Yicks (luckily it is just energy ) not in present time. wow.
Sharing and asking for help, , being willing - ho humming about these (click "these" to read about "these"
I see an opening that I didn't see before.
Sharing with another human being becomes a resource I can not live without.
A need, oh my!
Do you have space for your needs? A room in your spirit house for your needs? Or did it get forgotten in the plans? On the budget of time? What you value? What you invest your time on?
For each of us it is very unique, this room.
We are alone yet not alone. We can get help do this thing called life, together, no matter how bad it has been before, it can begin a new with trust and faith. I know.
I can help you create this new room for you to be safe, and comfortable in your newness. I help you find what works for you....
We are like radio receivers.
What channel are you tuning in to?
Do you like it?
If not, simply decide to change to the channel that feels best for you right now.
How often do we just go along with situations without checking in with how our body feels? Giving oneself permission to feel what works for oneself is self care, giving to self. It does not deprive the whole, for we are alread;y whole. If we are not allowed to care for ourselves in situations, that is a sign that is not a healthy environment.
I find that once I am clear of what works for me, maybe not do along with the group agreement, I have included my own accommodation in the equation instead of leaving myself out. Then the situation will either accept me or not, yet I know I have not abandoned myself. Which is an old pattern.
Welcome your whole self into your life, it has been waiting so patiently.
Lilac is Talking with me, what flower(S) are you having a conversation (S) with ? oh Yes and Gerbera Daisy for me
Well they are excited to be part of this conversation.
I am researching my heart, to open to my true feelings, to know my desires and be in touch and honor them.
I am in contact with an old friend, Q recently, I trust this is what I need to do, take a risk... I invite Q to dinner at my house, a new venture for me to invite people over. In the first few moments Q asked if he/she could use a tool I own. I usually need time to think about these things. Q explains a bit of what the tool would be used for, seemed ok. I show Q how to use it after dinner.
A few days later I am reminded of the story - the scorpion and the frog - ah oh - hum...
Lilacs blossoming across the street, I take in their scent, remembering how my mom had them growing by the kitchen door of our house. Through the years she would completely cut them back to have them grow back nice and bushy with more blossoms. To me, then it seemed aggressive, this cutting of long lively limbs.
Cutting back, pruning, Lilac...
Q arrives a week later with the tool, explaining the project in more detail then I wanted to know - yet gave me the clue that it may not have been a good idea to lend out my tool.
Mom would say, have your own tools, so you don't have to borrow, when she sent us off to school... Is this true for me now?
Q says" it's important to use the right tool..."
I need to use the tool for my own project and some part is working well, but another part, which I failed to check out with Q before it left my home was in a state I do not remember it being in. Alas - what to do? Kick myself for being stupid, generous, unconscious
I am with Dad, he has a tree trimming job he needs done, and hires someone who drops the tree into the 'evil' neighbors yard. I do not make mistakes! I do not make mistakes! I do not make mistakes!
Now I email to communicate what I have found different then I remember with the tool. Q responds with information. I can either blame or take responsibility. I did not go over that part of the tool before lending it. Pisser. I got into people pleasing and forgot myself...oh yuck again???
Jill, Jill Jill do you hear us, wait, don't go down your rabbit hole. Wait Wait, Lilac and Gergera sing softly in the quiet of their beauty.
I am in bittersweetness, I miss my dear Josephine, it is her birthday, that is my truth, my love, no one can take that away from me. I value this. I know this. Some parts of life are less then ideal, I can move on, not cling to the old, open to the new, be kind and gentle with myself, I have this choice.
So? Are there any flowers you are conversing with?
MOMENT BY MOMENT, HERE TO SHARE.
This blog is one way I share my self expression, My system of well-being is based on what is showing up in the body, right now .I am an appreciator, having infinite conversations with flowers, souls, trees...